A Socialist, an Anarcho-capitalist, a Nihilist and a Person Who’s Certain of Their Faith Walk into a Bar

The Socialist has had a bit to drink and starts talking about the errors of man, and how collective pursuit is the only way for us to stop all human suffering.

The Anarcho-capitalist overhears him, cuts in and argues that this is all bullshit and that unrestricted pursuit of our own self interest is the only way to avoid tyranny and injustice.

The Nihilist overhears the Anarcho-capitalist, starts making a babbling sound until the Anarcho-capitalist eventually stops talking, then blurts out: EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS YOU FOOLS!

The man of faith quietly waits until there is a lull in the conversation, eventually stating that truth and meaning can be found in God, and God alone.

I continue to drink my beer, but I don’t say a word. The faith in my heart stems not from some higher power, but in the meager survival that my ancestors and I have carved out, convening in this time and place. The Nihilist in me realizes that there’s a bucket of shit you can control (80%), and one that you can’t (20%). The capitalist in me knows that all creativity in the world stems from one’s ego and the selfish pursuit of the ego’s desire, even the desire to help others. The Socialist in me realizes that lone pursuit cannot achieve any complex goal of modern proportion – we are social creatures for a reason. I open my mouth, thinking that maybe I’ll chime in, but the Socialist, the Anarcho-capitalist, the Nihilist and man of faith are too drunk to listen.

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